Friday, July 16, 2010

A Sketch of Tranquility Book Review

One of the greatest virtues in being a creator is sharing with other great minds of the time who born their own creations. It is like Che when he met different revolutionary leaders from the countries he visited or like Fidel, who til this day, maintains a close friendship with Gabriel Garcia Marquez, writer of the Latin American masterpiece One Hundred Years of Solitude. In my world of humble apartment living in New York City, creating as the True and Living Earth, it has been of great pleasure to meet and share with minds of my time. Whether it was the time I met Booker T. Coleman at Juice Bar and we discussed his lecture on how the Crusades was truly a violent race for the accumulation of sugar, the newly discovered drug of the white man, or seeing and briefly talking to Assata Shakur, while in Cuba, about life in exile and her revolutionary activities in the great island-country. Of most pleasure has been engaging in conversations and/or builds, whether virtually or in person, with the great Gods and Earths of this time. One such person is the DaGod Emblem. His builds and writings have truly added on to the realm of the known. This God is definitely one of the great conceptualists of this time. His latest novel is one that you cannot put down once you’ve started on its journey. It will make you crack up like you haven’t laughed in years, feel angry, frustrated, and it will teach you information that you have not learned before.

Written through the perspective of its two main characters: Tranquility and Infinite, the reader is introduced to an added element within the writing never before included into a creative project; that of the urban subculture of the Nation of God and Earth. It is through this framework that one sees how each character develops through the story, with its underlying theme of Love. The dialect of the teachings adds-on and enriches the cleverness in the writing. The many expressions from several of the characters indirectly teach the reader what the knowledge of self is about. It provides a general view of the teachings, how its members talk, and how it informs their lifestyles. It blends well in all the other layers, within the story, of so-called African-American culture beautifully captured in Emblem’s writing.

A Sketch of Tranquility provides a creative forum of expression that enables the reader to connect, at varying levels, to the situations and/or characters of the story. For women it can become a story not too foreign from their own lived experience. For its female main character, it is the battling between success in the white-minded world and its contradictions with what she’s been taught to be as a righteous Black woman. Is she embodying more of the white man’s nature by getting her law degree and living on her own, rather than living out her nature as the true and living Earth, who is the Mother of Civilization? It is this contradiction, as it is brought to her attention as a form of mental abuse by the male main character that becomes one of Tranquility’s battles with him. More than an independent woman, Tranquility is an expert in mastering both the grafted world (by extracting an expertise that will bring her financial security and serves as a way to help original peoples) and her world of truth embodied by her mother, sisters, and Infinite, whom she wants nothing more but his upliftment. She’s a woman that has it all together: a successful schooling career, a job in her field of study, a tight-knit family, knowledge of herself, and the ability to inspire. Infinite is the archetype of what most men in urban United States go through. Falling victim to savage passion and his inability to properly activate his talents were some of his struggles. Knowing the white man’s traps (i.e. more Black woman in college than Black men), he rather deal with his reality by attacking his black woman and trusting a female devil in providing him artistic guidance. His defeat and loss of power is felt all throughout this amazingly written novel.

This has been one of the most powerful stories I’ve read in quite sometime. Peace, Earth Izayaa Allat.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

All Mistakes Become Lessons Part 3

“This life we’ve had, it hasn’t been a good one has it? We’ve always just wanted to have fun, but look at this, look what it’s come down to. Do we not care about our lives? Are we willing to do worse shit, to die for a cause that really has no meaning? You girls have a chance to find a meaning to this shit and I demand you do it.”

At that very moment Beba lifted her head with all the strength she had left. Looking up at both her best friends, she smiled, gasped her last breath, and tilted her head on Milagros’s hands.

“NOOOO! BEBA! HABLAME! TALK TO ME! NOOOO!” –Milagros screamed.

Soon after the ambulance arrived Beba had been pronounced dead and Kathy was hurried to the hospital. Fortunately, Kathy had survived, but for the rest of her life she was to live transporting herself on a wheelchair. How could she live with herself as a handicapped? She thought. She would never accept living like a vegetable. Perhaps the worst blow for both girls was Beba’s death. They cried for days and would not separate from one another. Milagros slept in the hospital and made sure that she was there for Kathy. Each couldn’t accept the fact that Beba was not with them anymore. A profound shock had stricken them that doctors provided psychological support to both girls.

“Let your emotions be crucified
Renounce all your thoughts
Repent and let your mind be re-taught
You'll find what you sought...was based on the deception you bought
A perception of naught
Where the majority remains caught…”
-Lauryn Hill

Two years had passed. The shootout had changed all three of the girls’ lives drastically. Beba was no longer with them. It was as if a piece of each hearts was missing. They mourned Beba and constantly spoke to her wherever she was. However, it was precisely Beba’s death, which led to many internal changes within the girls. Although Kathy was to remain paralyzed for the rest of her life, she attended weekly sessions where she learned how to live like a regular person. Weekly meetings with a therapist and with a Dominican sister who was dealing with the teachings of the Nation of God and Earth had helped her deal with an anger problem that had accumulated through years of abuse. For the first time in all her live Milagros saw Kathy smile. In one of their many conversations Kathy confessed to Milagros that in many ways she was blessed with what had happened. Her condition had allowed her to stop and finally think about who she was. This led her to map about who she wanted to be.

“ Kathy, what are you planning on doing?” Milagros asked.

“I was thinking I move down to Florida you know? My Earth Enlightener was telling me they have amazing facilities for people with my condition and the change in geographical location will help me study myself deeper at peace . She said I can get a scholarship. I don’t ever want to go back to our neighborhood. I don’t want to be like those kids that get shot and spend their whole lives doing nothing but sitting in front of the building. I want to make myself a better person. I want to honor myself and Beba. I’ve been thinking about what she said right before she died. Doesn’t it make sense to you Mily? It really does to me. All my life I thought Beba had nothing smart to say, but what she said right before she passed, struck me like a pin. I woke up really. Now I’m ready to start a life without any resentment or anger. I’ve put behind all that bullshit about my father. I’ve realized that all those experiences have made me stronger.” -She looked at Milagros with a glow in her face.

“I entirely understand everything you’re telling me beautiful. I have made the decision to do the same. I was thinking of going back to school. You know we were pretty smart in the few classes we passed at G Dubs. Remember? Also, I want to contribute positively to my relationship with Fernando. I want us to build a foundation.” –Milagros positively stated.

Milagros had found love. She met him at her local YMCA. A true love that did not judge her for the things she did, but rather taught her that whatever she had done in the past were lessons to be learned. This most supreme feeling of living brought her to a place that felt right. A place of focus and tranquility that would allow her to explore what next move she would take in life. Through her experiences she learned that she had been deaf, dumb, and blind to the reality of the world. Being so young and vulnerable to what she had dealt with, her senses automatically became numb. She lived, but feeling as if every moment was just one more picture in a dream she would soon wake from. When she woke, she realized why she had been placed on this Earth. It wasn’t so she could party, drink and smoke her life away, or feel bad because her father was never been there for her and because her mother had become a whore. It was so she could became a strong woman, that she learned no matter how she grew up, what she went through, it was up to her to make her own destiny. One filled with peace, love and happiness. Beba and Kathy were right.

She got her GED and enrolled in Community College. While in school her interests were History and Cosmetology. History taught her that she could trace back where she had come from and that by learning this, in turn, she would learn more about herself. Awareness of her past was necessary to make sense out of her present and future. She graduated with Honors and decided that in a few years she would go back to school to get higher degrees. For the meantime, she focused on receiving her Cosmetology license. She was currently in the process of setting up her own salon. Using her knowledge of history, she was going to apply hairstyles from the past, but adapt them to modern times. This technique no one had and it was a hit. They were setting a trend all over NYC to the point where famous people from the entertainment industry were coming to Milagros for consultations.

Some years later, Milagros in an interview was asked, “What’s the advice you want to share with girls and young women of this society and the world?” In her mind, she remembered years earlier being in the car and listening to the girl whose name she couldn’t remember, talk about not eating meat or white rice. This combined with her own experience brought her to a place of understanding. With a look of passion she answered, “I want all women out there to know that they are the only ones responsible for their own peace and happiness. Sometimes we find ourselves and make our own situations appear harder than they really are. We have to remove these self-inflicted chains and free ourselves. Knowing that, in itself, has given me back my freedom today.”

Kathy proudly watched her friend share her wisdom to the entire nation. It was times like those where she knew that what they had been through were not mistakes, but rather lessons from which they learned from. She turned off the TV and went to bed. She had an early start tomorrow, Milagros was coming into town…

Friday, July 9, 2010

All Mistakes Become Lessons Part 2

Milagros met Kathy and Beba when they were just kids. They must have been around five years old. They each attended the daycare that Doña Yayi was running illegally in her apartment. Although they disliked each other at first, mostly due to Kathy’s bossy personality, through time they became the best of friends. They ended up in the same schools and coincidentally in the same classes. They were known as the notorious trio for their associations with one of the toughest gangs in the city: The Trinitarios. Beba was clearly the passive one of the three, the one that was easily led to believe everything she heard. Truly gullible she was. This made her the protected one of the three. Kathy, on the other hand, was well aware of right from wrong and loved reenacting the latter. To her bad was synonymous with good, at least that’s what she grew up watching in her neighborhood. She was always ready to fuck up anybody. Her thirst for violence was insatiable. Every time she fucked somebody up, she pictured that this was another victory over her father, the mothafucka that physically abused her while growing up. She dreamed of the day she bumped into that drug addict and fixed him good, like she was doing with so many people that threaten her and the girls. The look of relief and satisfaction after breaking someone’s face gave her and the girls a reputation that no one dared mess with them. Milagros was really the sexiest girl of the three, she got down and did her dirt, but she always reiterated to her girls that she did it femme style. This meant she got down and dirty, but maintained her girly posture all throughout. This made her a classy gangsta bitch and she loved it. Most of the guys loved her. She couldn’t walk down the street without the niggas from the block hollerin’ at her. So many guys wanted to hit it, but she, knowing how much power she had, only had sex with who she chose. Whomever she found cute and a true papi, she would take him to an apartment her and the girls were renting, and have sex with him there. Whenever she fucked a guy that she chose, she felt a rush after her experience. She felt this way because she was the one doing the choosing and not the other way around. No guy would ever have the satisfaction of fucking her and then leaving her. After just one night, they always came looking for more and only the lucky ones got to hit it again.

Most times the girls plotted how they would get away from their mother’s grasp. Although they were not the best motherly examples, they tried to control their daughters to prevent from getting in trouble with the law. Whatever the moms did to prevent them from leaving the house, it was unsuccessful. Days would pass and no word from the girls. While the mothers worried, they enjoyed life how they had come to define: have fun and don’t give a fuck.

“So what we doing today?” Beba asked.

“You guys are going to school, that’s what you doing. I’m taking you over there myself.” Minorka said.

“Don’t worry; after she drops us off we will sneak out through the back door of the school. No one is ever there after first period starts. Chelo, Manolo, and Gary are going to pick us up in their car.” Kathy reassured.

“Say word, Manolo is coming with them? Cause ya’ already know how he’s been trying to hit it. that nigga aint getting shit…hahahaha.” Milagros said.

“Yea meng, he’s been wanting you for a minute now, give him a chance. He seems to like you.” Beba said

“Come on’ Beba. You already know that nigga just wants to fuck Mily so that he can say he got that. He don’t care bout her.” Kathy said.

“Word. That’s true Beba. Look all you gotta do today is have fun with Gary. He cool peeps.” Milagros said.

“Aight, ya know I listen to ya. I ain’t gonna do something stupid. I love you, ya my sisters.” Beba stated.

The entire day the girls spent it at the apartment they rented with the money they each made pulling stunts for the gang or dealing drugs every once in a while. They had smoked about ten blunts of haze, popped a bottle of Henessy, and made out intensely with the guys. All had made an agreement they wasn’t going to have sex because they needed to conserve their energy for the Trinitario meeting later in the evening. Although the guys seemed upset they didn’t dare force them. They knew Kathy’s strength. It was rumored that Kathy could fuck up more than three guys at the same time. One time she beat up a guy so bad he was taken to the hospital and put in intensive care. This was not just any guy from the block. It was Big Mike, one of the hardest drug dealers around. He tried to play her by giving her fake drugs. When she tested the drugs and noticed it was baking powder, she plotted how to get back at the nigga. A meeting with the girls and it was all planned. Milagros was to call him and ask for a dime of haze. They all knew how bad Big Mike wanted Mily. Anytime she called he would drop whatever he was doing just to tend to her. That night she called his celly and he agreed to meet her on the corner of 188nd Street and St. Nicholas Avenue in Washington Heights, Manhattan. Milagros drove up to him on the corner and told him to get inside the car. Big Mike thinking got in and she drove off. She gave him a wet juicy kiss on his cheek that had him in a trance for a minute. He seemed to regain composure when Milagros threw the dutch on top of his lap and smiling told him to roll. He reached into his pocket and at the very minute Kathy sprung up, from the back seat of the car, and held him with a knife. She sliced his face and told him to get out the car. Beba took out his gun from his right side and Kathy proceeded to hit him. She messed up his head and face mostly, giving him a serious concussion. They left him for dead and sped off in the car. It was a good night for the girls; they were celebrating with the haze left behind by Big Mike.

At around 8pm, the girls left the apartment and headed to Cabrini Park. It was at that location that their meeting was taking place. They arrived fairly early to make sure they didn’t miss anything. As high ranking individuals within the organization, they had to show the respect and love they had through their actions. The meeting started with updates. Kathy, Beba, and Milagros made theirs together as usual. Amongst their announcements was the idea of setting up recruitment areas in selected positions around the hood. They thought this would be most beneficial because people would then know where exactly to meet. The old skool way entailed asking around for the leaders and this sometimes took days for people to provide answers. Having set locations would provide a space where the leaders could look from afar and choose those with most potential. Some could even infiltrate and talk to the interested people. Everyone loved the idea and all voted to do it this way from now on. As the meeting continued, all thirty people were caught by surprise with gun shots and punches. The girls quickly gathered together and fought as hard as they could. In just a few minutes the girls would realize that this night would change their lives forever.

They continued to fight with their knives. A big disadvantage was that they were caught without their gats. They all managed to stay away from gun fire. Kathy had caught a body she grabbed for protection against bullets. They stayed behind the body and right as they were making out of the chaos, a bullet hit Beba in the chest. Kathy let go of the body to catch Beba. Milagros quickly moved to allow Kathy to hold her. At that very moment another bullet hit Kathy in her back. Milagros fell down with both of them to pretend she had been hurt as well. After about ten minutes everyone had dispersed and sirens were heard approaching. Milagros quickly got up.

“Get up Beba, get up Kathy. ¡Parate Coño! Let me know if you guys are okay dammit!” -She screamed while crying.

“Milagros I can’t move, I can’t feel any part of my body right now and I feel weak.” -Kathy whispered.

“Stay right there Kathy, the ambulance is coming. You are going to be okay sis. Stay with me okay, don’t let me go. Beba hablame, Beba why won’t you answer me.”

“I’m dying…I can’t talk (cough,cough). Why this happened? Who are we? I know you girls never listened before, but I demand you listen now!”

“We listening Beba, all ears.” –Milagros screamed.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

All Mistakes Become Lessons

“I don’t deal with the meat or dairy. I’m what you would call a vegan. Some people don’t realize that when you eat the flesh of another animal you are consuming not only the hormones that are injected in the animal to speed up its growth, but also the enzymes and chemicals that are released from the animal to help it deal with its death. Meat is really dead flesh, and that’s what you are eating. Oh, and you asked about the rice right? Well if you notice most Latina women have big bellies because white rice expands their belly. White rice has no nutrients, is bleached, and fattening.” – Keya explained

The three girls stared at each other blankly and not a word was uttered until the car slightly bumped onto a crack on the road. Upon reaching their destination, one of the girls stayed behind hugging her mother-in-law in a way that spoke about her fear of facing the world. It was obvious this deeply embedded feeling dictated the way she dealt with all those around her. The other two girls rapidly walked, arms wrapped around each other’s sides, whispering comments that led to quiet laughs. These two had made their decision. They wasn’t about to give up meat. They loved meat. It tasted so good to them. What exactly was that bitch talking about anyway, everybody ate meat and nobody dies from that, they thought. All three of these girls, whose fear of the world and life had surfaced, wore a big “fuck you” on their faces.

“I find it hard to say, that everything is alright
Don't look at me that way, like everything is alright
Cuz my own eyes can see, through all your false pretenses
But what you fail to see, is all the consequences…
”-Lauryn Hill

Milagros, Beba, and Kathy had spent their early teenage years being reactionary and trying to find their own justice to what they saw as unfair. Milagros, a product of a drug dealer and a love torn whore, grew up watching the constant fights between her parents, her father’s constant absence, and her mother’s search for a man with good money. Milagro’s mother wasn’t always this way.

Stories heard through the many apartments of immigrant mothers in the tenement where she lived told of a very different woman. Minorka worked hard as a nurse in one of the largest hospitals in Santo Domingo, the capitol of the Dominican Republic. Having recently arrived from San Francisco de Macoris, she brought with her the high spirit, morality and ethics she was taught to live with. Her mother always said that these were the ingredients to a good life and any woman who wanted prosperity would always have these within her. At 25, she had never been without her mother’s guidance, but finally found herself able to make decisions on her own. Working at the hospital allowed her to make friends with other fellow nurses who were also women from the countryside. Most days they would all meet after work and enjoy many of the diversions the city had to offer. They would visit coffee shops, foreign restaurants, and bars. It was precisely at one of these bars that Minorka met Milagro’s father. He was 6 feet tall, muscle build, with olive dark skin that pronounced his hazel eyes in such a way that when he looked at any girl, she would melt by the depth of his sight. Randy looked like the kind of guy you could bring home to meet the parents. He always dressed smooth and never wore clothes that did not match. On this particular night he was wearing a suede jump suit with a wife beater. He spotted Minorka for the first time as she and one of the other nurses were ordering drinks. She was talking to the bartender. He focused on the way her mouth moved. To him, it was the most beautiful set of lips he had laid eyes on. He ran his eyes up and down, from her head to her toes. Her silky curls, the way they rested on her shoulders, and how he wished he was running his fingers through them at that very moment. For now, he would have to wait. First came trying to get her attention. When Minorka and her friend went to join their party, Randy came over to the waiter and told him that whatever drinks they ordered to put it on his tab. When the nurses were ready to order again, the waiter, pointing at Randy, informed the ladies that he was taking care of their drinks. Minorka went over to Randy. She reacted just as Randy had planned.

“Good evening sir. I just wanted to thank you for paying for our drinks, but we don’t really need you to do that. Here, I brought all the money we owe you.” Minorka said with a stern look on her face.

“Girl calm down, you don't owe me anything. I am a gentleman and endlessly in the service of the most extravagant ladies of lore regardless of the rarity at which they appear,” He said with the swagger of a true bachelor.

“And that happens to be ladies like me?”

“These horrid men seek to defame you all. Send drinks your way that you must drink. That each drop of these select nectars of fermented grapes shall intoxicate the soul to enhance the façade of dastardly men into the sincerity of bliss of forthcoming good worldly intentions. If all I may ask is that with each drop of nectar you should choose not to drink that you offer me in exchange one moment of your time. One sip may cater the steps on a Sunday afternoon through the park. Another taste may chaperon a dinner at the finest restaurant with select arpeggios of your most cherished bachatas. And hopefully, there is but a morsel left to bed the intimacy of learning of your thoughts, ideas, hopes and dreams that a yes to another day may bring." He stated, strategically taking pauses so that what he said had a stronger effect.

“Wow. I guess, uh, I may be willing to let this glass pour out a friendship,” she answered amazed at his words of wit.

Just like that they spent that whole night talking. Her friends had left and she reassured them that she would get home ok. Randy knew what type of girl she was, inexperienced, family oriented, very trust worthy, and could be easily led in the wrong direction. It helped that he had a crew around her that made him look legit. He was well respected around that area and as one of the most feared men in that zona, no one dared mess with him. Most came to him for their problems. His abilities in the street allowed him to solve peoples’ problems and they had to pay him the compensation he proposed or else their life would be at stake. His word was always bond, but expected the same in return from the people he would serve. Once they came to him for help, they became part of his network and it was their duty to serve him when he requested it.

Minorka had become Randy’s newest obsession. He wouldn’t stop until he got what he wanted from her: to make her his woman until he got sick of her.

It didn’t take long for Minorka to fall madly in love with Randy. He was very detailed with her. Always brought something new for her, took her out to the finest restaurants in the city, never tried to get fresh with her, and showed an interest in meeting her family. Five months into dating, he asked to speak to her mother. Minorka was struck with excitement she couldn’t contain. Randy passed her his cell phone and told her to dial. She dialed rapidly and passed him the phone. He spoke in this smooth, calm, and professional voice that impressed anyone who heard it. After his conversation with Minorka’s mother, she was more convinced that he was the one for her. Her mother told Minorka that he seemed like the kind of man to settle down with. Little did she know his real intentions. He showed her only what he wanted her to see. The real Randy was a man who had once been badly hurt by a woman he thought to be the best in the world. Until he found her having sex with one of his right hand men. Both were murdered by his very hand. He never trusted or respected women again. No matter how they were, he thought they would eventually change and do you dirty. The same he thought of Minorka. She was the sweetest, most innocent and humble being he had met. But he was sure that one day she would cheat on him. This he couldn’t have and so he sought just to have fun with her.

A year into their relationship, Randy proposed that Minorka move in with him. Assuring her mother that they would be married within a year after living together, the moth ow er approved. Minorka felt so happy. She had received a promotion at work and she was now living with the man she loved. It was an exciting time in her life, until the problems began. Minorka started noticing that Randy would get home past midnight. She inquired and he explained that he was working long hours. He would look straight in her eyes, kiss her, and explained that in the banking industry there were times were research and reports took work into the later part of the night. She bought it. However, there were little things that stopped her from fully believing him after a while. She noticed that he would come home high or drunk. Sometimes he even smelled like he was wearing women’s perfume. He would dismiss it by saying the guys would always stack the jackets together and that might explain the smell of other peoples colognes. He reiterated that in no way were these women scents. She didn’t buy it.

Weeks after discussing the foreign smells on her man’s jacket, Minorka decided that she would investigate what was going on. She talked to her friend Dimary about it. Dimary agreed to take the day off work the next day to follow him. They planned to take Dimary’s car because everyone knew what Minorka’s car looked like. They were to meet at the parking lot of the clinic at 8am, usual time to enter work. This way they wouldn’t raise suspicions. Minorka was nervous; she had a bad feeling from the minute she woke up. She was afraid to learn what she most dreaded: to find her man cheating on her. Thirty minutes after meeting, they drove in and caught Randy right as he was walking out of the apartment building. He was talking on the phone smiling as if he was flirting with someone. He got into his car and drove off. Minorka nervously told Dimary not to lose him. Randy made his first stop at the bar where he had first met Minorka. He stopped and chatted with some guys. Since Dimary’s car had tinted windows, no one thought to think that people were inside it. This allowed them to park close enough to hear what Randy and the two other men were talking about. Randy was giving instructions and demanding updates. When Minorka heard what they had to say she received the first shock. They were talking about the bodies they had recently disposed of and the allocation of the most recent shipment of heroin. Once Randy finished giving the orders of the day, he jumped into his car and took off. The women were careful in following him. They stayed two cars behind him so he couldn’t tell. Fifteen minutes later he made a stop in front of what seemed a hostel and two women walked out with some of Randy’s friends. Minorka recognized them immediately. Those were the men he had introduced as his business partners at the bank. Now she knew what kind of business they were all doing together. They took off and Dimary continued to follow. The final stop was made at a house that looked abandoned. They all got off here, girls walking like they were already feeling nice off the drinks they had in their hands. Minorka told Dimary that she had to follow them in there. Dimary urged her to wait at least ten minutes before she went in there. Minorka agreed. She got out of the car and started walking towards the back of the house. Inside of her she felt great fear. Her body was shaking and her palms were sweaty. She walked very slowly so that her boots wouldn’t make a loud clackity sound. As she came closer, the voices became louder. She heard the women laughing and talking freaky to the men. She peeked in and actually saw that the women were leaning on the men, touching their chests, and whispering words into their ears. They would stop and continue to drink and pass the three blunts they were smoking. When things got a little heated, Minorka decided to walk in. The women were now half naked and they were making out with the guys. When Randy saw Minorka, the expression on his face drastically changed. It looked like his high had worn off instantly. Minorka ran out, he chased after her. She was crying hysterically and couldn’t calm down. Randy finally caught up and grabbed her.

“Why did you do this to me? I love you with all my heart and this is how you repay all the wonderful moments I have given you.” she gasped and continued to hyperventilate.

“What you talking about? I gave you all those great moments; I made all those moments for you. Without what I put into it, they wouldn’t have been shit.” He yelled.

“You played me all this time, why? All I ever did was love you and have the utmost trust in you.” She was now crying uncontrollably.

“Minorka, I did love you too, but my way. I am not a man for just one woman and I knew you wouldn’t understand that. I wanted you for me and if I would of told you all that you would have never been with me. I’m sorry, but I cannot be with just one woman. I cannot be with just you.”

“Please let me go, you’ve said all you needed to. Let me and your baby go.” She cried

“My baby?”

With those words she left running back to the car where Dimary sat nervously waiting.

“What happened, did you talk to him?” she asked.

“Yes, drive, let’s leave this place now. I can’t believe it Dimary. He lied to me, all this time he was lying to me. I gave him my body, my soul, my everything and he had the audacity to tell me that he can’t be with one woman. That he loves me, but just can’t be with me alone.” She yelled while crying hysterically.

Dimary accompanied her to the place she currently called home. She packed up all her bags as quickly as she could. Thinking was the last thing she wanted to do. She didn’t want to feel the deep pain and solitude she was experiencing. Never again would things be the same. She wanted to numb all her emotions, dispose of them as if nothing had ever happened. The truth of the matter was that she had instantly changed. Minorka decided that she needed to get away. She had family in New York City and after speaking to them, they urged her to come stay with them until she got settled and could find her own place. Her professional background allowed Minorka to get a visa without any problems. She was to leave three days after the incident with Randy occurred. For the time being she would stay with Diomary until it was time to catch that plane. Getting on the plane signified for her the start of a new life where she would be a different woman. The type of women who would not be taken advantage of, instead she would be doing the rippin’ off.

Nowadays, on average Milagros’s mother went through five boyfriends a year and virtually all of them slept over on a frequent basis. She fell for each one of them, but before she gave them some ass, they had to contribute to some expense. Some would pay the gas, rent, or light bill. As long as they were supporting her with something, she gave them all the ass they wanted. One of the most impacting days for Milagros was when she walked in on her mother having sex with her latest boyfriend, some campesino that had recently arrived from the Dominican Republic. Unlike most of the other guys she fucked, he was spending all of his factory earnings on her. This is why she would do him at any time of day. It was as if whenever she got financially taken care of, her hormone level got higher. Milagros hated her mother so much, for being such a freaking slut. She thought of becoming just like her mom to fully piss off her father for never being there for her. It’s not like he cared anyway, but at least he had nothing to be proud about. Even the worse of fathers, she thought, bragged about their good children. It was really the only good thing in their lives they could talk about, but she would never give him that pleasure. She wanted him to curse the day he became the man he did and to see the result of his actions. His absence had really affected her and now it was up to her not to ever make him proud.