All Mistakes Become Lessons Part 2

Milagros met Kathy and Beba when they were just kids. They must have been around five years old. They each attended the daycare that Doña Yayi was running illegally in her apartment. Although they disliked each other at first, mostly due to Kathy’s bossy personality, through time they became the best of friends. They ended up in the same schools and coincidentally in the same classes. They were known as the notorious trio for their associations with one of the toughest gangs in the city: The Trinitarios. Beba was clearly the passive one of the three, the one that was easily led to believe everything she heard. Truly gullible she was. This made her the protected one of the three. Kathy, on the other hand, was well aware of right from wrong and loved reenacting the latter. To her bad was synonymous with good, at least that’s what she grew up watching in her neighborhood. She was always ready to fuck up anybody. Her thirst for violence was insatiable. Every time she fucked somebody up, she pictured that this was another victory over her father, the mothafucka that physically abused her while growing up. She dreamed of the day she bumped into that drug addict and fixed him good, like she was doing with so many people that threaten her and the girls. The look of relief and satisfaction after breaking someone’s face gave her and the girls a reputation that no one dared mess with them. Milagros was really the sexiest girl of the three, she got down and did her dirt, but she always reiterated to her girls that she did it femme style. This meant she got down and dirty, but maintained her girly posture all throughout. This made her a classy gangsta bitch and she loved it. Most of the guys loved her. She couldn’t walk down the street without the niggas from the block hollerin’ at her. So many guys wanted to hit it, but she, knowing how much power she had, only had sex with who she chose. Whomever she found cute and a true papi, she would take him to an apartment her and the girls were renting, and have sex with him there. Whenever she fucked a guy that she chose, she felt a rush after her experience. She felt this way because she was the one doing the choosing and not the other way around. No guy would ever have the satisfaction of fucking her and then leaving her. After just one night, they always came looking for more and only the lucky ones got to hit it again.

Most times the girls plotted how they would get away from their mother’s grasp. Although they were not the best motherly examples, they tried to control their daughters to prevent from getting in trouble with the law. Whatever the moms did to prevent them from leaving the house, it was unsuccessful. Days would pass and no word from the girls. While the mothers worried, they enjoyed life how they had come to define: have fun and don’t give a fuck.

“So what we doing today?” Beba asked.

“You guys are going to school, that’s what you doing. I’m taking you over there myself.” Minorka said.

“Don’t worry; after she drops us off we will sneak out through the back door of the school. No one is ever there after first period starts. Chelo, Manolo, and Gary are going to pick us up in their car.” Kathy reassured.

“Say word, Manolo is coming with them? Cause ya’ already know how he’s been trying to hit it. that nigga aint getting shit…hahahaha.” Milagros said.

“Yea meng, he’s been wanting you for a minute now, give him a chance. He seems to like you.” Beba said

“Come on’ Beba. You already know that nigga just wants to fuck Mily so that he can say he got that. He don’t care bout her.” Kathy said.

“Word. That’s true Beba. Look all you gotta do today is have fun with Gary. He cool peeps.” Milagros said.

“Aight, ya know I listen to ya. I ain’t gonna do something stupid. I love you, ya my sisters.” Beba stated.

The entire day the girls spent it at the apartment they rented with the money they each made pulling stunts for the gang or dealing drugs every once in a while. They had smoked about ten blunts of haze, popped a bottle of Henessy, and made out intensely with the guys. All had made an agreement they wasn’t going to have sex because they needed to conserve their energy for the Trinitario meeting later in the evening. Although the guys seemed upset they didn’t dare force them. They knew Kathy’s strength. It was rumored that Kathy could fuck up more than three guys at the same time. One time she beat up a guy so bad he was taken to the hospital and put in intensive care. This was not just any guy from the block. It was Big Mike, one of the hardest drug dealers around. He tried to play her by giving her fake drugs. When she tested the drugs and noticed it was baking powder, she plotted how to get back at the nigga. A meeting with the girls and it was all planned. Milagros was to call him and ask for a dime of haze. They all knew how bad Big Mike wanted Mily. Anytime she called he would drop whatever he was doing just to tend to her. That night she called his celly and he agreed to meet her on the corner of 188nd Street and St. Nicholas Avenue in Washington Heights, Manhattan. Milagros drove up to him on the corner and told him to get inside the car. Big Mike thinking got in and she drove off. She gave him a wet juicy kiss on his cheek that had him in a trance for a minute. He seemed to regain composure when Milagros threw the dutch on top of his lap and smiling told him to roll. He reached into his pocket and at the very minute Kathy sprung up, from the back seat of the car, and held him with a knife. She sliced his face and told him to get out the car. Beba took out his gun from his right side and Kathy proceeded to hit him. She messed up his head and face mostly, giving him a serious concussion. They left him for dead and sped off in the car. It was a good night for the girls; they were celebrating with the haze left behind by Big Mike.

At around 8pm, the girls left the apartment and headed to Cabrini Park. It was at that location that their meeting was taking place. They arrived fairly early to make sure they didn’t miss anything. As high ranking individuals within the organization, they had to show the respect and love they had through their actions. The meeting started with updates. Kathy, Beba, and Milagros made theirs together as usual. Amongst their announcements was the idea of setting up recruitment areas in selected positions around the hood. They thought this would be most beneficial because people would then know where exactly to meet. The old skool way entailed asking around for the leaders and this sometimes took days for people to provide answers. Having set locations would provide a space where the leaders could look from afar and choose those with most potential. Some could even infiltrate and talk to the interested people. Everyone loved the idea and all voted to do it this way from now on. As the meeting continued, all thirty people were caught by surprise with gun shots and punches. The girls quickly gathered together and fought as hard as they could. In just a few minutes the girls would realize that this night would change their lives forever.

They continued to fight with their knives. A big disadvantage was that they were caught without their gats. They all managed to stay away from gun fire. Kathy had caught a body she grabbed for protection against bullets. They stayed behind the body and right as they were making out of the chaos, a bullet hit Beba in the chest. Kathy let go of the body to catch Beba. Milagros quickly moved to allow Kathy to hold her. At that very moment another bullet hit Kathy in her back. Milagros fell down with both of them to pretend she had been hurt as well. After about ten minutes everyone had dispersed and sirens were heard approaching. Milagros quickly got up.

“Get up Beba, get up Kathy. ¡Parate Coño! Let me know if you guys are okay dammit!” -She screamed while crying.

“Milagros I can’t move, I can’t feel any part of my body right now and I feel weak.” -Kathy whispered.

“Stay right there Kathy, the ambulance is coming. You are going to be okay sis. Stay with me okay, don’t let me go. Beba hablame, Beba why won’t you answer me.”

“I’m dying…I can’t talk (cough,cough). Why this happened? Who are we? I know you girls never listened before, but I demand you listen now!”

“We listening Beba, all ears.” –Milagros screamed.

All Mistakes Become Lessons

“I don’t deal with the meat or dairy. I’m what you would call a vegan. Some people don’t realize that when you eat the flesh of another animal you are consuming not only the hormones that are injected in the animal to speed up its growth, but also the enzymes and chemicals that are released from the animal to help it deal with its death. Meat is really dead flesh, and that’s what you are eating. Oh, and you asked about the rice right? Well if you notice most Latina women have big bellies because white rice expands their belly. White rice has no nutrients, is bleached, and fattening.” – Keya explained

The three girls stared at each other blankly and not a word was uttered until the car slightly bumped onto a crack on the road. Upon reaching their destination, one of the girls stayed behind hugging her mother-in-law in a way that spoke about her fear of facing the world. It was obvious this deeply embedded feeling dictated the way she dealt with all those around her. The other two girls rapidly walked, arms wrapped around each other’s sides, whispering comments that led to quiet laughs. These two had made their decision. They wasn’t about to give up meat. They loved meat. It tasted so good to them. What exactly was that bitch talking about anyway, everybody ate meat and nobody dies from that, they thought. All three of these girls, whose fear of the world and life had surfaced, wore a big “fuck you” on their faces.

“I find it hard to say, that everything is alright
Don't look at me that way, like everything is alright
Cuz my own eyes can see, through all your false pretenses
But what you fail to see, is all the consequences…”-Lauryn Hill

Milagros, Beba, and Kathy had spent their early teenage years being reactionary and trying to find their own justice to what they saw as unfair. Milagros, a product of a drug dealer and a love torn whore, grew up watching the constant fights between her parents, her father’s constant absence, and her mother’s search for a man with good money. Milagro’s mother wasn’t always this way.

Stories heard through the many apartments of immigrant mothers in the tenement where she lived told of a very different woman. Minorka worked hard as a nurse in one of the largest hospitals in Santo Domingo, the capitol of the Dominican Republic. Having recently arrived from San Francisco de Macoris, she brought with her the high spirit, morality and ethics she was taught to live with. Her mother always said that these were the ingredients to a good life and any woman who wanted prosperity would always have these within her. At 25, she had never been without her mother’s guidance, but finally found herself able to make decisions on her own. Working at the hospital allowed her to make friends with other fellow nurses who were also women from the countryside. Most days they would all meet after work and enjoy many of the diversions the city had to offer. They would visit coffee shops, foreign restaurants, and bars. It was precisely at one of these bars that Minorka met Milagro’s father. He was 6 feet tall, muscle build, with olive dark skin that pronounced his hazel eyes in such a way that when he looked at any girl, she would melt by the depth of his sight. Randy looked like the kind of guy you could bring home to meet the parents. He always dressed smooth and never wore clothes that did not match. On this particular night he was wearing a suede jump suit with a wife beater. He spotted Minorka for the first time as she and one of the other nurses were ordering drinks. She was talking to the bartender. He focused on the way her mouth moved. To him, it was the most beautiful set of lips he had laid eyes on. He ran his eyes up and down, from her head to her toes. Her silky curls, the way they rested on her shoulders, and how he wished he was running his fingers through them at that very moment. For now, he would have to wait. First came trying to get her attention. When Minorka and her friend went to join their party, Randy came over to the waiter and told him that whatever drinks they ordered to put it on his tab. When the nurses were ready to order again, the waiter, pointing at Randy, informed the ladies that he was taking care of their drinks. Minorka went over to Randy. She reacted just as Randy had planned.

“Good evening sir. I just wanted to thank you for paying for our drinks, but we don’t really need you to do that. Here, I brought all the money we owe you.” Minorka said with a stern look on her face.

“Girl calm down, you don't owe me anything. I am a gentleman and endlessly in the service of the most extravagant ladies of lore regardless of the rarity at which they appear,” He said with the swagger of a true bachelor.

“And that happens to be ladies like me?”

“These horrid men seek to defame you all. Send drinks your way that you must drink. That each drop of these select nectars of fermented grapes shall intoxicate the soul to enhance the façade of dastardly men into the sincerity of bliss of forthcoming good worldly intentions. If all I may ask is that with each drop of nectar you should choose not to drink that you offer me in exchange one moment of your time. One sip may cater the steps on a Sunday afternoon through the park. Another taste may chaperon a dinner at the finest restaurant with select arpeggios of your most cherished bachatas. And hopefully, there is but a morsel left to bed the intimacy of learning of your thoughts, ideas, hopes and dreams that a yes to another day may bring." He stated, strategically taking pauses so that what he said had a stronger effect.

“Wow. I guess, uh, I may be willing to let this glass pour out a friendship,” she answered amazed at his words of wit.

Just like that they spent that whole night talking. Her friends had left and she reassured them that she would get home ok. Randy knew what type of girl she was, inexperienced, family oriented, very trust worthy, and could be easily led in the wrong direction. It helped that he had a crew around her that made him look legit. He was well respected around that area and as one of the most feared men in that zona, no one dared mess with him. Most came to him for their problems. His abilities in the street allowed him to solve peoples’ problems and they had to pay him the compensation he proposed or else their life would be at stake. His word was always bond, but expected the same in return from the people he would serve. Once they came to him for help, they became part of his network and it was their duty to serve him when he requested it.

Minorka had become Randy’s newest obsession. He wouldn’t stop until he got what he wanted from her: to make her his woman until he got sick of her.

It didn’t take long for Minorka to fall madly in love with Randy. He was very detailed with her. Always brought something new for her, took her out to the finest restaurants in the city, never tried to get fresh with her, and showed an interest in meeting her family. Five months into dating, he asked to speak to her mother. Minorka was struck with excitement she couldn’t contain. Randy passed her his cell phone and told her to dial. She dialed rapidly and passed him the phone. He spoke in this smooth, calm, and professional voice that impressed anyone who heard it. After his conversation with Minorka’s mother, she was more convinced that he was the one for her. Her mother told Minorka that he seemed like the kind of man to settle down with. Little did she know his real intentions. He showed her only what he wanted her to see. The real Randy was a man who had once been badly hurt by a woman he thought to be the best in the world. Until he found her having sex with one of his right hand men. Both were murdered by his very hand. He never trusted or respected women again. No matter how they were, he thought they would eventually change and do you dirty. The same he thought of Minorka. She was the sweetest, most innocent and humble being he had met. But he was sure that one day she would cheat on him. This he couldn’t have and so he sought just to have fun with her.

A year into their relationship, Randy proposed that Minorka move in with him. Assuring her mother that they would be married within a year after living together, the moth ow er approved. Minorka felt so happy. She had received a promotion at work and she was now living with the man she loved. It was an exciting time in her life, until the problems began. Minorka started noticing that Randy would get home past midnight. She inquired and he explained that he was working long hours. He would look straight in her eyes, kiss her, and explained that in the banking industry there were times were research and reports took work into the later part of the night. She bought it. However, there were little things that stopped her from fully believing him after a while. She noticed that he would come home high or drunk. Sometimes he even smelled like he was wearing women’s perfume. He would dismiss it by saying the guys would always stack the jackets together and that might explain the smell of other peoples colognes. He reiterated that in no way were these women scents. She didn’t buy it.

Weeks after discussing the foreign smells on her man’s jacket, Minorka decided that she would investigate what was going on. She talked to her friend Dimary about it. Dimary agreed to take the day off work the next day to follow him. They planned to take Dimary’s car because everyone knew what Minorka’s car looked like. They were to meet at the parking lot of the clinic at 8am, usual time to enter work. This way they wouldn’t raise suspicions. Minorka was nervous; she had a bad feeling from the minute she woke up. She was afraid to learn what she most dreaded: to find her man cheating on her. Thirty minutes after meeting, they drove in and caught Randy right as he was walking out of the apartment building. He was talking on the phone smiling as if he was flirting with someone. He got into his car and drove off. Minorka nervously told Dimary not to lose him. Randy made his first stop at the bar where he had first met Minorka. He stopped and chatted with some guys. Since Dimary’s car had tinted windows, no one thought to think that people were inside it. This allowed them to park close enough to hear what Randy and the two other men were talking about. Randy was giving instructions and demanding updates. When Minorka heard what they had to say she received the first shock. They were talking about the bodies they had recently disposed of and the allocation of the most recent shipment of heroin. Once Randy finished giving the orders of the day, he jumped into his car and took off. The women were careful in following him. They stayed two cars behind him so he couldn’t tell. Fifteen minutes later he made a stop in front of what seemed a hostel and two women walked out with some of Randy’s friends. Minorka recognized them immediately. Those were the men he had introduced as his business partners at the bank. Now she knew what kind of business they were all doing together. They took off and Dimary continued to follow. The final stop was made at a house that looked abandoned. They all got off here, girls walking like they were already feeling nice off the drinks they had in their hands. Minorka told Dimary that she had to follow them in there. Dimary urged her to wait at least ten minutes before she went in there. Minorka agreed. She got out of the car and started walking towards the back of the house. Inside of her she felt great fear. Her body was shaking and her palms were sweaty. She walked very slowly so that her boots wouldn’t make a loud clackity sound. As she came closer, the voices became louder. She heard the women laughing and talking freaky to the men. She peeked in and actually saw that the women were leaning on the men, touching their chests, and whispering words into their ears. They would stop and continue to drink and pass the three blunts they were smoking. When things got a little heated, Minorka decided to walk in. The women were now half naked and they were making out with the guys. When Randy saw Minorka, the expression on his face drastically changed. It looked like his high had worn off instantly. Minorka ran out, he chased after her. She was crying hysterically and couldn’t calm down. Randy finally caught up and grabbed her.

“Why did you do this to me? I love you with all my heart and this is how you repay all the wonderful moments I have given you.” she gasped and continued to hyperventilate.

“What you talking about? I gave you all those great moments; I made all those moments for you. Without what I put into it, they wouldn’t have been shit.” He yelled.

“You played me all this time, why? All I ever did was love you and have the utmost trust in you.” She was now crying uncontrollably.

“Minorka, I did love you too, but my way. I am not a man for just one woman and I knew you wouldn’t understand that. I wanted you for me and if I would of told you all that you would have never been with me. I’m sorry, but I cannot be with just one woman. I cannot be with just you.”

“Please let me go, you’ve said all you needed to. Let me and your baby go.” She cried

“My baby?”

With those words she left running back to the car where Dimary sat nervously waiting.

“What happened, did you talk to him?” she asked.

“Yes, drive, let’s leave this place now. I can’t believe it Dimary. He lied to me, all this time he was lying to me. I gave him my body, my soul, my everything and he had the audacity to tell me that he can’t be with one woman. That he loves me, but just can’t be with me alone.” She yelled while crying hysterically.

Dimary accompanied her to the place she currently called home. She packed up all her bags as quickly as she could. Thinking was the last thing she wanted to do. She didn’t want to feel the deep pain and solitude she was experiencing. Never again would things be the same. She wanted to numb all her emotions, dispose of them as if nothing had ever happened. The truth of the matter was that she had instantly changed. Minorka decided that she needed to get away. She had family in New York City and after speaking to them, they urged her to come stay with them until she got settled and could find her own place. Her professional background allowed Minorka to get a visa without any problems. She was to leave three days after the incident with Randy occurred. For the time being she would stay with Diomary until it was time to catch that plane. Getting on the plane signified for her the start of a new life where she would be a different woman. The type of women who would not be taken advantage of, instead she would be doing the rippin’ off.

Nowadays, on average Milagros’s mother went through five boyfriends a year and virtually all of them slept over on a frequent basis. She fell for each one of them, but before she gave them some ass, they had to contribute to some expense. Some would pay the gas, rent, or light bill. As long as they were supporting her with something, she gave them all the ass they wanted. One of the most impacting days for Milagros was when she walked in on her mother having sex with her latest boyfriend, some campesino that had recently arrived from the Dominican Republic. Unlike most of the other guys she fucked, he was spending all of his factory earnings on her. This is why she would do him at any time of day. It was as if whenever she got financially taken care of, her hormone level got higher. Milagros hated her mother so much, for being such a freaking slut. She thought of becoming just like her mom to fully piss off her father for never being there for her. It’s not like he cared anyway, but at least he had nothing to be proud about. Even the worse of fathers, she thought, bragged about their good children. It was really the only good thing in their lives they could talk about, but she would never give him that pleasure. She wanted him to curse the day he became the man he did and to see the result of his actions. His absence had really affected her and now it was up to her not to ever make him proud.


continued....

Mi Zamba del Che

Guevara, Ernesto “Che.” Back On The Road: A Journey Through Latin America. Grove Press: New York, 2000.

“…experience of the journey was to lead him towards something entirely different: a greater understanding of the harsh material conditions of the great mass of the people in Latin America, and the corresponding need to do something to improve their lot. In the two years covered by this narrative Guevara dramatically shifts his outlook. He moves from being a detached and cynical observer to becoming a fully-fledged revolutionary…”

Today within what is labeled as the “conscious” or “revolutionary” circles you find many individuals who are firm believers in change. Change is synonymous with the word revolution. The activities the people within those circles are immersed in, whether they are community activists, cultural, musical, and/or political icons, occur with the purpose of serving and bettering original people’s conditions, whom they most popularly refer to as “people of color.”(1) They “fight” for immigrant rights, police brutality, the freedom of political prisoners, for solidarity with the current struggles in our respective mother countries, labeled as third world countries, and even for LGTBQ acceptance. These struggles become known as creating revolution and the people involved label themselves revolutionaries. While the work of many of these beautiful and well-meaning people has some significance, (i.e. in that within their music they created a new sound/genre altogether, or the march/vigil/protest they organized brought new participants, or the poem they wrote created common bonds of struggle). However, it is up for argumentation whether these “revolutionary” methods truly created change in the psycho-social, political, economic status of original people that is truly liberating. It is important to note that these initiatives take place within the framework of the grafted man’s society. The Honorable Elijah Muhammad in his book of speeches, Message to the Blackman in America, details this idea through the context of the so-called African American in the United States, which inevitably becomes the same social-mental conditioning of most original peoples who come to the U.S., mainly the so-called Latino/a. On pages 169 and 170, Elijah states “…so it is with the American Negroes; they are charmed by the luxury of their slave-master, and cannot make up their minds to seek for self something of this good earth, though hated and despised by the rich man and full of sores caused by the evil treatment of the rich man. On top of that he is chased by the rich man’s dogs and still remains a beggar at the gate, through the gates of Paradise were ever open to him…The American Negroes have the same gates of Paradise open to them but are charmed by the wealth of America and cannot see the great opportunity that lies before them.” The quotation articulates the mental state of original people. Throughout their history of oppression they have been led to feel helpless and seeking for solutions with the same people who have kept them in a subordinated state. They have been led to believe that the only way to get a piece of the wealth is by continuing to seek friendship and work within the boundaries their enemies have provided for them. They do not see solution in separation. Even within the ranks of the philosophical so-called Negroes, the preachers held the Christian view of bonding together and forgiving. Elijah saw that this would not yield any advances of freedom for original peoples. The “asking” and “unifying” methods, to him, would never manifest true freedom. This is why he was so critical of Martin Luther King Jr. and his civil rights movement. He didn’t see this as an effective method of liberation for Original people in the United States. Asking a people whose nature was to create chaos, inequality, and confusion, hence devilishment amongst original people, to give them equal rights under the law, was to continue begging. On page 173 he stated, “The Black man in America faces a serious economic problem today and the white race’s Christianity cannot solve it. You, the so-called American Negro, with the help of Allah can solve your own-problem. The truth must be recognized by the black man. He, himself, has assisted greatly in creating this serious problem of unemployment, insecurity and lack. Before the black man can begin to gain economic security, he must be awakened from the dead and gain knowledge, understanding, and wisdom which will enable him to follow my teaching. Islam and only Islam will point the way out of the entanglement of ‘want in the midst of plenty’ for the followers of Islam, the true religion of the black nation.” Here Elijah is clearly stating that before we can even start devising the mechanisms of how to attain economic and social independence, original people must first be awakened to the truth of themselves and of this world. Education is the first step in the trickling down process of enlightenment. It brings all the pieces of the puzzle together. Islam is the culture of Mathematics and Science through its application of the Self, to gain a deeper awareness of everything. Therefore, those asking for rights and equality are doing so with blind eyes to the truth of the All. Without the awareness of who the white man and who the original man is, no accurate solutions can be devised. This idea of asking and seeking a solution by negotiating with the same people that have kept one in bondage yields results that only add-on more efficiently to the illusion of equality.

In Latin America because of the vast economic oppression, and the U.S. ideas of racism that have been implanted within the people, we learn that to those fighting for sovereignty do so from the same government the so-called Negro has had to struggle against. In the South of the Western Hemisphere, this has come to be known as U.S. imperialism and neocolonialism. So-called Latin Americans, because their independence movements led to the concept of nationalism as a marker of identity (i.e. Mexico-Mexican, Brazil-Brazilian), have fought ardently the usurpation of their economy by world powers. Like the so-called African American, these areas are heavily dominated by the Christian doctrines. Religion plays a big role in the formation of ideas within the society of original peoples. So ingrained are the Christian concepts that they are found synchronized with the original spiritualities, as in in the Yoruba Santeria faith of the Caribbean and Curanderia of Mexico/Central America. This idea of “placing at the centre the historic figure of Jesus, the true Jesus of Nazareth, and believing in him and no other abstraction - Christ Messiah, Son of the Living God, the Word Made Flesh and Blood”(2) is one that has kept the people from mentally dead to the reality of themselves and from fighting efficiently against the Yankee devils. The church teaches that we must wait and pray for better things to come, that we must love thy neighbor, and that remaining faithful to our Lord and the Virgin will bring an abundance of wealth into our lives. Examining Che’s trajectory as a true revolutionary for the liberation of original peoples in Latin America, we can understand the application of Elijah’s teaching of Separation and Father Allah’s teaching of True Islam, within the Latin American context of acclaiming one’s Indian culture and roots, fighting the racism against the “Indigenas” and U.S. power. Che goes through this same process. One where he first learns the ways of our people in each country, understands the politics behind the economic conditions of each nation, and goes deeper into our ancient societies.

“Explotan al campesino
al minero y al obrero,
cuánto dolor su destino,
hambre miseria y dolor..
Bolívar le dio el camino
y Guevara lo siguió:
liberar a nuestro pueblo
del dominio explotador.” –Victor Jara, Zamba del Che

Reading his journal, where he traveled for the second time throughout Latin America, Central America, and ending up in Cuba, was a refreshing experience that allowed me to get a glimpse of his development from Ernesto Guevara, the doctor, to el Che, the socialist and revolutionary. What’s most important in this compilation of diary entries and letters sent to his mother, aunt, and Tita Infante (his long time friend), Che exposes his political and humanistic evolutionary process. This inspires me to provide an analysis of his experiences living in Latin America without the middle-class status he denounces, and leaves behind, in connection to his political narration of each country he visits that eventually transforms him into a full-blown righteous fighter for the poor. Towards the end of his growth as a devotee of marginalized peoples, Che becomes somewhat of a Simon Bolivar, identifying deeply with all of Latin America and not necessarily with his native Argentina. In fact, in a letter to his mother he stated, “Anyway, the truth is that Argentina is extremely dull…”(88). This idea of one people, one land is one that resonates with the teachings of the Nation of God and Earth, where we say we are all really one tribe, varying within our experience of blackness, which makes it one deep reality. We even have a degree directly addressing the issue of Oneness. The 7th degree in the 1-14 says, “Why does the devil call our people African?” and the ending statement to this degree is, “to make us think we are all different.” The label points to a loss of knowledge of who we are due to the oppressive measures taken by the grafted man, which leads to false identities based on geographical locations: Nationalities. It is precisely this felt connection with the peoples of the world that aided his decision in liberating Cuba. With this, the intention is to provide those with limited knowledge on this historical figure a framework that will inspire readers in furthering their understanding of this original man.

Che’s second journey begins on July 7th, 1953 at La Quiaca, Argentina, very close to the Bolivian border. Perhaps of most interest in his trajectory is the knowledge acquired through the many lived realities that led him to a solid understanding of his most deepest thoughts; he would devote his time mechanizing ways in which to help the disfranchised, particularly against Yankee imperialism, and would inevitably connect with an alternative system that had characteristics of justice inscribed in its core: socialism/communism. Of note, Che was present in the actual revolutions and anti-communist movements taking place in most of the countries he visited. During his initial stay in Bolivia, Che’s journal narration opens with a detailed account of revolution and changes taking place in this nation. The new social position Indians and Mestizos embraced Che regarded as important as well the youth’s involvement in the redistribution of wealth. From then on, all throughout his narration, Che seems to focus upon the changes occurring for the poor, specifically of the leftist movements forming in each nation.

Throughout his voyage, Che struggled with finding work, nourishing himself appropriately, resulting in chronic asthma attacks, and maintaining a flow of cash for his daily living. He struggled with paying the rent and finding work that could pay him enough to survive. His journal entries contained references to these hardships, he would write things like “I am falling into debt…The days have passed with the usual chain of hopes and disappointments that characterize my proletarian life” (89). These were harsh conditions he endured and survived. They reinforced within him the growth of his revolutionary spirit, hence the spirit of all original people in Latin America. This is the hell (12. L-Love, Hell, or Right) that he imposed upon himself to come out right as a man who already possessed moral convictions unmatched to anyone of its time. During this early formative period, Che starts to realize that although medicine is a profession he likes and respects, it is one that comes with privilege and must be used for the benefit of all. In a series of letters to his mother, Che describes his great efforts in finding work, but denials and “no” were the responses he commonly received. He was well aware that he could have discontinued struggling if he wanted to, but to do that would mean to sacrifice his principles. In one of the letters he wrote to his mother he states, “I could become very rich in Guatemala, but by the low method of ratifying my title, opening a clinic and specializing in allergies (it’s full of tell-tale colleagues here). To do that would be the most horrible betrayal of the two I’s struggling inside me: the socialist and the traveler” (61). His true inclinations are solidified when Guatemala City is attacked by pirate aircraft. This united all Guatemalans and revolutionaries attracted by the changes occurring that favored the poor. Che rapidly reported to the youth brigades.

Up until this period he spent most of his time writing, traveling, observing, and exchanging thoughts with friends about topics relating to economics and politics. The friends and associates he made were through previous contacts in his travels. These varied from ambassadors, leaders of political parties, reformers, poets, intellectuals, doctors, and others. While these people held high ranks in their respective line of work, they were also figures who held sentiments favoring the betterment of people without power. They ranged from progressive liberals to full blown communist leaders. Most were critics of the institutions of power and the clever/exploitative policies of the “Yankees” (United States) in their countries. Some notable leaders he encountered were the “Dominican short-story writer and revolutionary, Juan Bosch, and Costa Rican communist leader Manuel Mora Valverde” (30). His discussion with Juan Bosch revolved around the many corrupt leaders in Latin America, like Batista and Perón. Valverde provided an extensive history on Costa Rican politics and the failures of the Communist Party. Among the various people he met were Mariano Oteiza, president of the Panama Student Federation and a sculptor by the name of Manuel Teijero. Other members of the federation he met were Adolfo Benedetti, Rómulo Escobar, and Isaías García. In Guatemala, Che met Carlos Manuel Pellecer, a peasant leader with communist leanings. He also became acquainted with Peñalver, a Venezuelan exile. Amongst the multiple other people he met were Mario Sosa Navarro, Alfonso Vanergais, Edelberto Torres, and Señora Helena de Holst. One of the first he meets is Hilda Gadea, who would later become his first wife. There are endless names of other people he meets in his travels, culminating with Cuban leader Fidel Castro, and simply one of the baddest mothafuckas the world has seen in the last few decades.

Throughout his narration of the situation in Guatemala, Che is very sympathetic towards the Arbenz government and he seems to express frustration when he writes of the forced resignation of Arbenz. He characterizes the Yankees (“gringos”) as hypocrites due to the not-so good neighbor policies of being behind the bombing and attacks committed to the Guatemalan people. In the succeeding days after Arbenz’s fall, the country becomes immersed in chaos. All people with alternative politics were deemed as “communists.” Therefore, many people had to flee to the embassies for fear of persecution. Hilda, Che’s wife, was one of the people held captive, but was later freed. Che was able to file for voluntary exile and headed towards Mexico.

Once in Mexico, Che writes another letter to his mother where he talks about Argentine politics and the communist party there. He states “I think they deserve respect, and sooner or later I will join the Party myself” (88). Throughout his time in Mexico, he was always connected to the original culture around him. In one particular event he describes and looks for the unifying characteristics between the peoples of the various nations he visited. He wrote, “On Sunday I went to the Virgin of Guadalupe Day, which wasn’t as crowded as people say it usually is. As always it was a mixture of pagan festivities and a bit of religion; a lot of Indians made to look more like Indians, with a simple rhythmic music similar to that of Peru or Bolivia”(90). It was this continual immersion within the people that would lead him to have a deeper realization of who he was as an original man and who our people were as a whole. This mixture of understanding the politics governing Latin America, as well as the people who made up the nations, brought Che closer to attaining deep awareness of Self and the world. In another letter to his mother he gives a detailed example of how he’s come to the realization that politics is governed by a set of scientific principles which the Yankees use to keep Latin American submerged in oppression. “As to the changes in my thinking which, as you see it, are becoming sharper…The manner in which the gringos treat the American continent (remember that the gringos are Yankees) aroused my growing indignation, but at the same time I studied the theoretical explanation for what they do and found that it was scientific”(91-92). By studying the concepts within political science and experiencing first-hand how they manifest within the living situation of the people, Che was able to clearly see this science of Yankee (devil) oppression. Just as those with higher awareness of self realized the science of Separation as it is explained by Yacub’s rules and regulations to metaphorically denote how all the original seeds became detached through the creation of the grafted man, Che was able to understand the science that plays out to create material inequality. It is precisely in this time of his life where he decides to join the Cuban Revolution.

“Caminando entre valles y montañas
para siempre tu imagen guerrillera
y tu sangre corre ya por nuestras venas
y se agiten los techos bolivianos…” –Ali Primera, Comandante Amigo

Che’s knowledge on poor people it’s not just confined to the circle of revolutionaries he was immersed in. His observations from his lived experience shed light on his deep understanding of the state of the poor population. There exists evidence, from what is known of his life, that he really did understand the life of the poor, which to some extent he experienced as well. By the time he makes his first trip out of Argentina, his family lives in lower middle class conditions. The constant battle with finding work in Guatemala, his constant analysis of the treatment of the “Indian” in the places he visited, and the times he spent with oppressed people are all strong indicators of his understanding. In Bolivia, when visiting a farm ran by Salesian priests, he was reminded of an idea a teacher he knew once said, in which he refers to the animals as being regarded and treated better than the Indians. Che said, “I did not say anything in reply. But the Indian continues to be an animal for the white mind, especially for Europeans, whichever holy order they belong to” (6). Che further describes a visit to a national mine where the workers are not present in honor of the Day of the Indian and the Agrarian Reform. On a visit to the Ministry of Peasant Affairs, he witnesses an atrocity. There were different cultural indigenous groups waiting to be given an audience; once each assembly went in they are sprinkled with DDT, a hazardous pesticide. Che was well aware that these were actions resulting from the deep hatred against the indigenous populations of these nations. Moments like this resulted in Che’s reaffirmation of his commitment to bettering the conditions of indigenous peoples.

Perhaps one can grasp Che’s deep insights of the conditions of the poor in his paper, entitled “A Look from the Banks of the Giant Rivers” where he provides a beautiful and precise description of the Amazon;s inhabitants. During his visit to the Amazon, Che’s mission was to visit a colony of patients living with Hansen’s disease, popularly known as Leprosy. As he travels through the forest he becomes aware of the daily live of the people of the area: the Yaguas. He provides a detailed portrayal of the Yaguas’ living conditions that has changed from a forest clearing, due to the rain season, to the highlands. It is here that Che learns of their lifestyles and the extreme condition of their poverty. It seems as if the life of a Yagua is limited to obtaining food nourishment due to the season’s effect on the change of available food. Their expertise in fishing was one of the most efficient techniques he'd ever seen. No one in the tribe worked unless it was to eat (122). To live in a jungle, one must have vast knowledge on what plants are poisonous and which aren’t. Walking into unknown areas can prove to be fatal. To avoid this, one learns the plants’ positions very well. The humility and kindness these people contained were two of the traits that he described in his account. Before leaving the tribe, they were met with a wonderful goodbye ceremony and were given a monkey to feast on. The fact that these people even welcomed Che and others into their living environment shows their lack of assuming. This experienced allowed Che to see a population adapted to living conditions that are to an immense extreme to the way other populations of people had ever lived. This particular group of Native peoples allowed him to add-on deeper understanding.

There are other interesting aspects of el Che, such as his vast knowledge of archeology and his true love for ancient civilizations, specifically the Mayan, which adds to his all around thinking as a revolutionary. However, this topic is a whole new essay. Instead I will provide a fact that, those of us who have studied the subject know, about the realization Che came to after having visited the Mayan cities of Uxmal and Chichén-Itzá; “Here I became completely convinced of what my American identity had refused to be convinced of: namely, that our forefathers were Asiatic”(58). Che’s growth in ideas leads him to explore the deeper concepts of the Self, or our origins. In learning and seeing what our ancestors left behind (studying our older history of Blackness), he sees a blockage from fully living our reality with the presence of U.S. interests in our land and forms a philosophy guided by equality (socialism) and unity amongst all of Latin America and the separation from the U.S. government. This means that true revolution comes with the fight that one will separate from the devils creating chaos and for learning that we are all one people must unite as the tribe we once were. This is what the Cuban revolution was all about and how Che was able to add-on uniquely. What is to be admired most about Che is his transgression as a Man, Scholar,Thinker and Revolutionary is that he never denied the bit of privileged he possessed. Just like Fidel he used this privilege to clearly analyze and portray the situation of all original peoples in Latin America. His character of set principles (just like the God and Earth are guided by their determined right and exact principles) that he outlined a revolutionary should always have with him is what still is taught and lived on today within the youth of Cuban society. It doesn't get any better when he ruggedly wrote to his mother, "What [really] gets me down is your lack of understanding for all this and your advice about moderation, egoism, and so on: in other words, the most execrable qualities an individual can have...if I ever detect in myself that the sacred flame has given way to a timid votive flicker, the least I can do is vomit over my own shit"(109). It was that driving flame that he sought to preserve, the energy of righteousness and truth that he carried within himself. That's the same form of energy the Father carried with him, when he decided that true separation came with the accurate teachings of Islam, that, just as our ancients had already studied and known, everything was a reflection of the mind itself.

Peace!

(1) It is important to note that people of color, although I won’t provide any etymological nor historical roots of the adaptation and usage of these words, it is an incorrect term to designate to original people. Scientifically when we refer to people that are of color we are referring to those who reflect light. The black, brown and yellow seeds are all capable of alchemizing/processing melanin by absorbing the energy of the sun. Thus, when we speak about a true people of color these have to be the Caucasoid who are not able to activate their melanin. This means they are literally reflecting back the sun light. The usage of the words it is a mental conditioning we still deal with as it was wrongly adapted by the original populations attending institutions of higher learning. To them, it was a form a raising the esteem and awareness of their populations of these college campuses.
(2)Vigil, José María. “Believe as Jesus Did: The Spirituality of the Kingdom.” Available at http://www.sedos.org/english/vigil_1.htm. 29 September 1999.